I wrote something this morning that describes my feelings this week:The aching grows stronger
Would be but a waste.
Cut on thou great physician,
I plead as I kneel.
That I might yet be,
Perfected and Healed.
Sometimes when we encounter trials, our first inclination is to pray that the trouble be taken from us. I have come to realize, however how short sighted that is. Some might say God is cruel because he lets the challenges persist, but which is more merciful? The doctor who stops mid operation, or the doctor who keeps going, no matter the pain it causes, because he knows its the only way to remedy the afflicted. I always tell the Lord I love him before I close my prayers, but sometimes I fear that it becomes merely words. I am learning that we show our love for God by being faithful to him, especially when we don't feel him close, or there at all.
All of this being said, I need to write about a great miracle that happened this week! Mike Hebert is a man we have been teaching since we got here. He was Elder Cornelison's first investigator. We have invited him to turn to God to know if this is the true church, but with his age and situation, I quietly feared he wasn't capable of feeling the spirit. Nevertheless, he has done everything we ask him to do, and this week he got his answer. When we first taught him, he got very emotional about the idea of eternal families, and desperately misses his wife who has passed away. Something seemed a little off in our lesson this week, and he momentarily got up to leave. When he came back, he said, "I did what you asked. I prayed to know if the church I was going to was the right one, and right after I prayed, I smelled perfume." We asked what that meant to him, and he said, "It was my wife" and he started to cry. I cannot tell you the joy that filled that room.. I felt like rising up and with a fist pump and a yell. He is getting baptized this Saturday, and asked Elder Cornelison to baptize him. It was even Elder Cornelison's birthday. Such a great blessing.
I must say all is well. All the problems of a mission can be solved with a little work. I must say I really don't like Holidays as a missionary, because we don't get to work like we want. It is going to be a good feeling getting back out and hitting the pavement for another week.